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Putting the HORS in Sexytime

April 14, 2014 by Gnome 1 Comment

From our analysis of the kit market there appeared to be a burgeoning glut of trend options. We were unsure how deepe it might go, and so we were axperimenting and we believe we found a bottom. Luckily, like rubber coqs, we bounced back with fists wrapped around heavy thinking.  The tension of dayglo camoeux is heavy. We are notte sure. What is the fresh new patterns going to be? Or, is there one? Does there need to be? We mean that in a complete sentence of the idea. Welcome the Superissimo Sexykitte 2014.

2014 Sexykitte Top/Tunique for racing time/general championne time.
2014 Sexykitte Top/Tunique for racing time/general championne time.

Get your Men’s Jersey in the Shoppe

Get your WOMENS Jersey in the Shoppe

Get your Bibs in the Shoppe

The Designer sH* remarks:

we have the HORS touch: spelled out, and implied, in Superissimo terms.

Asymmetry: enough dash of ‘nache to be seen, but not banging our NFL logos on your forehead like ca.’97 Primal Bullshift Tunics. No, not that haute.

Color palette: unique, but not asking too much, like “please act like fully pink is totally balanced out by your lugged beard and hobo tats.” We donut mean that. It’s more just a twist on the Italian tricolour, without isolating us from future relevance by going Hi-vizzy-tizzy, ultra-pink, insecurity orange, etc. It’s the colour equivalent of the spritzing of vermouth in your martini.

Typeface: straying from the all-dominating Gotham. a bit of Western, a bit of 60s high-design, but serifed for the right amount of whimsey. Perfect. Okay, let’s just theme it: Spaghetti Western.

Details: lightning bolt, tastefully proportioned. Observe it on the right shoulder as you are passed. The skull: observe it on the left as you pass – later you will die. The mountains: they are fucking mountains. We all fall in the mountains somewhat, so be mindful and respectful of them, fucquehead.  Always Victoire*: with an asterisk because nothing is victoire, but we all chase it like idiots. Let it be the goal and the fear simultaneously, while remembering as well that the Victoire may be yanked from your cubicle coat hook at any time, given the indiscriminate CAT 3 liberties you took with your blood, hormones, and the Olson Twins. Yeah, Victoire*. Taste it.

and then zoom out. Feel how it is just so handsomme?  Feel that it will for sure stand out in a pelican? It will.  Will people who matter be able to see you easily when you are flying by like a man with grave insecurities and something to prove like your dad never listened but look at me now, you sonofabitch? Friends spot you from half a K back when you are off in the hay with your frame pump out trying to look like you are not throwing up your brains from too much Sprintoire? At least the ones that matter know you are The Superissimo.

With our jersey addressing the various representative needs while maintaining le-bici-greco-roman positions of winning and championshipping, our choice in bib-short-pant has also returned to black of cycling heritage (you know, when kids would run away from working in the tulip fields to become bicycle racers?).

Technically, The Superissimo bib is designed to be easily integrated with any jersey choice. The graphic presentation on the bibs is a subtle mixte of Superissimo identifying elements and metaphors. 

Superissimo Base Bib, 2014
Superissimo Base Bib, 2014

Get your Men’s Jersey in the Shoppe

Get your WOMENS Jersey in the Shoppe

Get your Bibs in the Shoppe

Trackbacks

  1. Superissimo Sexykitte Ordering Now Closed, Now What? - Superissimo says:
    May 18, 2014 at 12:30 pm

    […] At 5’5.75” and 142lbs; a sprinters build with a bird chest, in the medium kit, tan line precisions have become gradient. The fit is, however, unrivaled to anything I have worn to date for the past 25 years. I am willing to forgo any complaint of tan line abolishment in consideration of this. If I were penchant for crisp lines developed over years (which I absolutely appreciate on others), I would simply choose the next larger cut. This seems weird at first, that a small man can contain either a medium or a large kit piece, yet given the HORS nature of the materials involved, there is flexibility in this way which will allows priorities. Should you need to review sizing, the specs can be found here. […]

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