Superissimo Sexykitte 2013. Time for Machotimes, okay?

Okay, so we’ve had the question:  “Aside from a George Hamilton spray-paint-tan and a diet, how can I look handsome like a Macho Man il Superissimo?”

Editors note – Well, for the time of May 1 to May 14, the best kitte was making sale. But now, all sales are closed, and will notte return. No. But you may also look at what it was belows for 2013:

And be ready for Summertime Fastbiking. We have tested over months and come to find the selection best fit for fastbiking and capable of Superissimo Stylings® is the Pactimo Ascent. Lettuce now talk of the reasons why this is so good. First, please look:

The Tunic: The cape has been engineered with competitive fast biking as its purpose. It spares no expense for fit and aero comfort. Forged silicone embedded hemlines keep the dorsal fabric tucked tight. A hidden, robust and full length zipper accommodates ventilation needs during the swelter of HC climbs and daylong tempos across the drylands of any stage, Brevet, Randonne, or Gravel Grinder. A raglan moided shouldering reduces wind buffet during mach ITT and sprint velocities as well as during instinctual quick snap double takes at the cafe. Standard radio wire slit on mid pocket, and a tight yet full capacity “chipmunking” capable pocket triplette across the back as one will expect from performance fastkitte such as this.

Le Bib Pante: The 2013 Superissimo SexyKitte Bib Pante is also a gem in the roughe of daily cycing battle. After months of testing in the oft foul weather of later winter and early spring, the chamois has proven roadworthy for days, with no evidence of heat spots, chaffe, nor excessive odor. Again, this will work well for th Brevette, Randonne or Gravel Grinder challenge as well as any Category (1,2,3,4,5, and 6) contender. We will also mention here that JD3 has spent a fair amount of time enKitted during off-road dirty cycing adventures as well, and has found satisfied miles in le Sexykitte. Most important also, yet often overlooked with other kitte, the leg cuffs on the 2013 Superissimo SexyKitte Bib Pante offer a 70mm width to minimize “sausaging effect” of a winter’s Ulrich Syndrome, and for the slim gam, the cuff is a slipper on the quads. So nace.

This Kitte now will be with you with a tiny pinche le asse, which is to say, that it is here for a limited time. As you may break off the front and find yourself enjoying the feelings of victoire, you will be ready with Superissimo.

Now lettuce talk of the exclusive Snake Hawk design:

The idea of the look, when we sat down with Karl Lagerfeld, was to aim for Hors.  Beyond.  If we ended up with mere dashing, then we are still better than 150% of racebiking sexypants/shirts on the market right now.   You’ll notice lots of deepe symbolism engrained (sublimated) into the top layer of many areas of fabric.  Please do not ask about what this means, just adore them.  We can tell you about the strifen colours and some of the words.

• Raspberry.  The color of gelato when it is flavoured raspberry.
• Grappa.  The color of victoire tomber dans les pommes. (translate.google, okay?)
• Haricots Verts.  The color of the vegetable which post Gran Tours arms are most shaped like from too much sexybike fasting.  (Donut confuse for fastbike sexing.)

Now.  Throw bottles.  Once a great brave man of outerspacial Machotime was tired of being threatened by the fat man bringing him down.  He said no, and he said that by throwing a bottle.  And then one more.  And he did this in white, probably shortly after smoking sigarettas in front of the whole pelotong.  And the Superissimo was forever smitten.

Get sexy, oui. It is summer, and you are already looking super great.  It’s time to get niveau supérieur.

* open for orders through May 13th, 12:00PM Mountain Time US.  That is how this works.