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You are here: Home / Archives for Snakehawk

Act like you care. She does.

September 2, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

  The argument started again last night. It's a cut that won't heal; it's a slice on the palm of a miner. She warns other women not to marry a bike racer; Most always gone, not around much to change the diapers, not a trace of bedroom heroics, and the yard work/paint-patching would never happen were it not for the visits from Mother-in-law. Not much at all can be expected, save a lousy check from time to time, so she says.  For me, … [Read more...]

Subvert the Curved Brim Paradigm!

June 28, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

  Style took a left a number of years ago, and we think it's gross.  We ask you, our macho sexy friends to join us in a campaign to reinstate Handsome in the pro pelotown. Maybe doping is still okay and de rigeur, but showing up on the podium looking like Ricky Bobby is just plain embarrassing.  No wonder Cadel seems always about to cry. With the help of, and motivation from mega-pen, Bill S, we are working hard together to bring … [Read more...]

Riggo: Superimposed Superhuman

May 29, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

I have a problem with the establishment, authority, the norm, the mainstream, McMansions, etc., but mostly I have a problem with status quo running free.  Instinct has me refuse subscription, and take a pass on common memberships until the data are analyzed, but here I am, speaking to a niche.  Aren't my ways contradictory?  Not really, but also yes, but also who cares:  the point was just to draft a semi-concise setup for explaining why … [Read more...]

Retrospective Heaviness: Hampsten ’85

May 27, 2013 by Snakehawk 2 Comments

I'm always digging around, thirsty as hell for sips of American greatness.  Pre-90s feels better to watch, though I like the Pharma Years, too; it was spectator gold.  Stateside, our gauge of roleur seems to have strictly to do with Le Tour, but the dudes who swung the long axe were present in all forms:  the 1-days, the WT points, the Giro, and more.  What's more, any Euro can tell you that heros don't have to win the whole tour.  Heros are born … [Read more...]

Knowledge, but ribald.

May 23, 2013 by Snakehawk 2 Comments

It's been a long time since I've given to the allure of ritual.  I've spent the last bunch of years eschewing and püpüing the satisfaction that can be had by opening little tins, rolling down the tops of paper bags, and moussing my hair.  Why the Spartan restraint?  Because being simple is tougher.  So I thought. That thought held until I was reminded of the delights that exist within a can of embrocation.  It was a winter for sure, though … [Read more...]

Embrocate your mind, and your legs will follow.

May 20, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

The Superissimo has been painted as a lighthouse in this elite community of sexybiking.  We shine light upon the rocky, often unstylish shores of our sporte, and we are proud of that.  Like James told me one time, "So long as I'm looking down at somebody, the accuracy of my judgments are unfaltering."  So after a heavy night of hamstringing it behind the team Scüterrad, our conversation switched from electrical chainswitchers to the development … [Read more...]

Superissimo Sexykitte 2013. Time for Machotimes, okay?

May 3, 2013 by Snakehawk 3 Comments

Okay, so we've had the question:  "Aside from a George Hamilton spray-paint-tan and a diet, how can I look handsome like a Macho Man il Superissimo?" Editors note - Well, for the time of May 1 to May 14, the best kitte was making sale. But now, all sales are closed, and will notte return. No. But you may also look at what it was belows for 2013: And be ready for Summertime Fastbiking. We have tested over months and come to find the selection … [Read more...]

This Jame, He is Killing Me.

April 15, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

It was not so lang ago when I was trying for some winter training with Jame.  James Degault III, he say, "Call me Jimmy," and I am so tired of that baseball-type name, so I say Jame. He say "Call me JD3" and what is this a robot sidekick now? JD3? No. I get so tired of Americanishe petting names so I say Jame. It is Jame. We set for riding on a 74.4K loupe with some flat for a motorpace. Jame, he was a dick.  He have the big arm, like "ooh, i … [Read more...]

Pinche le Asse

April 9, 2013 by Snakehawk 1 Comment

So it was:  the grab heard round the cycling world.  And the stillness of the pond is now forever rippled.  Cycling has enjoyed its part in an ages-long tradition of misogyny, but thanks to the poor podium judgement displayed by Peter Sagan, things may have to change. The world of two-wheeled daring-do has had much to do with trouble as of late.  We've all popped our heads up above the surface of our queerness only to see a world with … [Read more...]

Stagione Enorme Anticipo

April 7, 2013 by Snakehawk Leave a Comment

HC.  It's the Carl's Jr. Grab Bag Lunch of mountain stages - it is a Triple Thickburger, a Large Fries, a Hot Dog, a Large Soda and a shitty apple desert, choked down while on a bike, all in one day.  HC is the one that us mortals, being of feeble leg and amateur ranking (CAT 6, natch), would prefer to take in from the couch, with Phil's, Paul's, & Bobko's English Jambalaya explanations.  Sitting here in anticipation of summer, I'm forgoing … [Read more...]

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