It’s time to discuss product. We are proud to be codeveloping a cooling summer knee grease with Buckler Embrocation. Our parameters, as we defined them, were simple: we want to smell as handsome as we look. First-50-pages-of-Numéro Homme-handsome? Non. Steve-McQueen-playing-polo-on-a-buffalo-while-drinking-a-Budweiser-handsome? Oui. So in anticipation of what is to be Superissimo’s first actual product besides highly fashionable cotton shirt tops, James Degualt the Third shares with us what it means to be a man, and offers his expectations of our mancare numero prodotto uno – Sancremo: Summertime Sexygrease pour Gams.
Embrocative Insights, by JD3
My father’s bedroom was never a place to loiter. It was dark, and nothing in it resembled family. It was a dungeon to a child, complete with strange sounds and strange aromas indicating something, that for a child, is simply incomprehensible. And while it was never said, it was always known that children were not to be caught in there unless there was a good reason.
On occasion though, as I sought definition of what it is to be a man I would find myself wandering in there against all good judgement. It was the only place of authority I’d come to know as a child and I entered it with great trepidation. At the long end, his dresser sat in the darkest cove of the room. The top far out of sight, I would jump and grab the edge, pulling my eyes up parallel to the top. There, high atop that dark oak dresser sat the ornate vision of my childhood “Man dreams” – a glass bottle shaped like a lighthouse that contained enough Old Spice to embalm an entire Peloton. Next to it, the Brüt stood at full attention, looming over the edge towards me like an old Captain surveying his starboard bow. Behind the Brüt, the remaining booty of the day lay splattered across the top like a shotgun blast to a roll of quarters, nickels, dimes, car keys and other strange schrapnel.
The vision of this has never escaped me. It would come to be my definition of Man and every time I cross the line winning, as a cyclist, the aroma and dark austere of his room floods my mind saying “this win has been brought to you by a MAN.”
When Superissimo came to me requesting input on their new line of embrocations and liniments, I immediately thought of my father’s room. Everything about it: the aroma, the sounds, the paraphernalia and the authority it exuded behind closed doors are very much the same ideals Superissimo looks for in an embrocation: Swagger, Machissimo, and Winning with a Stalin’esque authority.
Superissimo’s San Cremo Summertime embrocation has been developed in part with these values in mind.
Worth noting as well, is the following — a message from the alchemist behind our forthcoming miracle salve, Jon Mason of Buckler:
My wife always gives me the stink eye when I produce embro, but not the Sancremo….she’s in love with it. This morning I caught her wearing my embro making t’shirt – she said – your shirt smells so manly.
These things noted, expect to find the world a more manly place within a matter of weeks.