Take a Livestrong bracelet back to the siège d’Acre, sell it to Antoine DePhelipoux for a song, then come back to now and trade the song in for some Confederate currency. That’s what you need to make a good dinner. You don’t need spices dried in the soleil du Ventoux. You need a neighbor with an overgrown rosemary bush. Maybe also some long grains, the tuber of your choice, a Steve Roche heirloom onion, and a couple packs of tempeh, aka brokeloaf.
Make the grains, saute the tempeh with the Irish apple to the point of almost burning it, chop a dirt mango up like you don’t even care, chuck it in a flame retardant vessel, and put that crap in your oven. Put on Sunday in Hell, RedBull Rampage XXI, or Friends Season 8, hit the rollers like you’re late for work, then eat your cheap-ass dinner. Rustic.
Why spend money on food, when you can spend it on unlimited data plans that tell you how to make it?
Jaque Le Coq